Flirting - According to Gareth (please don't try this at home)

Okay, I've kept you all dangling for this one.....

Here's Gareth and the lady in his life.....

First of all, as he discovered, she's got a Good Sense of Humour, so he started off with a silly story, which tickled her immensely.



'I like Pop music.....'



As Roxie is Flirty, he found it pretty easy to give her some *ahem* really cheesy pick up lines.

Here are a few examples for you all.

'You know, you're my shooting star. For you I'd travel the universe!'




Oh puhlease.

'I'll be your teddy bear. Dang I'm so cuddly and stuff.'



*snerk*

'You're looking mighty pretty tonight.'





"Why thank you."



By now, they were edging closer to each other, not breaking eye contact at all.





Taking his chances, he leaned in.

'Mind if I kiss you now?'





"Um... no."



Crushed, he decided to back off a little, but was still determined to get his 'first kiss' in.



So he chatted and flirted some more.

'You smell like a bunch of roses.'




"Um, okay."

'You make me wanna flex my muscles!'



"Er.... o-kay."

Then he suggested a back massage. To which she actually agreed.



And then he tried again.



'Please, just one little pucker... that's all I want... really.'



"No, now PLEASE.... back ... off."




Just then, the car pool arrived (he'd gotten himself a promotion so he was working pretty late at night) and he had to dash.

But not before getting a hug off Roxie.





"I just want us to be friends... okay?"

'Um... o-kay.'

With this thought rolling around his head.

'I can't believe it. Refused my first kiss..... TWICE! I'm never gonna live THAT one down at all.'





And so endeth Gareth's poor attempts at Romance.

Try a little harder next time sonny.

Socializing.... Gareth Style

Well, as you can see, Gareth's not exactly 'social' material. Not because he hates people, oh heavens no.

It's because people find him a little .... um.... 'difficult to digest', especially when he's on one of his 'rampages' (for use of a better word).

*sigh*

Just wondering if there's ever going to be a companion in his life that'll put up with his..... 'quirks'

'I can't help it if I've got to double check everything. You never know when there's going to be an impending disaster..... remember the sink issue?'

That.....

.... was YOUR fault.

'Sooner or later it had to happen... you know? You must ALWAYS be prepared!!!! My new motto!!!'

Humph.

Changing topic here, how'd it go with the cookies?

'Um, well..... I never got around to baking any more.'

O-kay.

'It's Sunday, the school's shut, and you know what happened to the last lot of cookies.'

True, true.

'Anyway, I met the maid today.'

.... and....????

'Well, I told her a few specifics on what I needed when turning my bed down and stuff, asked her what cleaning products she was using etc.'




Bet she liked that one.



'Um, no. She gave me a hard glare before walking out the house. And I swear I heard her muttering under her breath about -being told my job!!!!-'

*Shakes head*

'Oh, I went out and about today, met a few folks. Flo Broke. Don't like her, she's.... weird. And that make-up. It looks as though it's been put on with a trowel!!!!!




Oh, and whilst I was in the garden, clearing the weeds, this guy walked past. So I decided to say hello, introduce myself. He was o-kay, talking about his music and stuff





..... that is .... until we got on about something or other. And that's when he strongly opposed by my beliefs on commitment issues.'



O-kay.

'But then, I had the surprise of my life. I went inside to wash my hands - well, I HAD been digging up weeds - when one of the Lin sisters turned up at the door. Roxie, I believe her name is.



So, I invited her in - gentleman that I am - and we got talking. It appears she's a little grumpy, but also has commitment issues too. Which got me thinking. There's no need to get hitched and stuff to have a little fun. Oh, she's also flirty too. So, I decided to take my chances......'

**Stay tuned for the next episode - What Happened Next**

That's Just ... so..... Gareth

It's the next day in the Hughes household, with Gareth deciding it's about time he tried out some more Handy skills.

And tackled the toilet ....
.... with a hammer!!!!



Okay, well, don't blame me if it overflows and causes a mess.

'It won't will it?'

With that, he stopped what he was doing and started pacing back and forth in the kitchen.



'Eww.'

What.

'Eww'

Hurt yourself?

'No... just worried. My hands feel dirty..... and I don't think I've turned the faucets off properly. I think I'd better check them.'




Well, this time, he had a good excuse, he HAD been tinkering with the toilet, and even I wasn't sure if the maid had done a perfect job of cleaning it properly.



'DAMMIT'

Uh oh.

'I broke the bloody sink now. WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?????'




O-kay Gareth, I think it's time you calmed down.

'No, not until I've fixed this leak. Crap oh crap oh crap oh crap.'



Oh. Boy.

Well, by the time he'd finished fixing the sink, it was getting late.
But there was something on his mind.

Thinking about returning those things you've stolen?

'Hell no. Just thinking about that cookie drive. Maybe I should make up those two servings and put them in my inventory. I'm pretty sure they'll be fine by morning. Then I can deliver them before I go to work.'

Um, o-kay. But I still think it's a bad idea.

Anyway, the first batch of cookies came out beautifully.



The second batch, however....

..... well....

Just look at his face.



'I burned them. I burned my cookies. I can't send them to the school like that!'




O-kay.

They went out and he made another batch. By now he was also feeling very hungry too, and settled for some jam and bread before retiring to bed.

And that's when those cookies decided to go off.



Which set Gareth off in another anxious mood.

'Gotta clean the sink, it's dirty.'



Aren't you tired Gareth?

No, not until I've done this.

*sigh*

Um, Gareth? What ARE You Up To?

After sitting up practically all night, playing video games, Gareth finally decided to call it a night. Good job for him, he didn't have to go to work the next day (lucky fella). So he deserved himself a nice lie-in.

He still managed to arise very early in the morning... about 7am, considering that he didn't get to bed until late. I guess he was worried about the sink, the oven...

'Nah, none of those.'

Oh?

'Nah.... stinky, gotta shower.'

With that, he hopped out of bed and leaped into the shower, followed a little later on, by a curse, and a stream of water leaking out of the shower head.

Yep, he'd broken the shower.

But, because he was hungry, he decided to forego fixing the shower, and had breakfast instead. This time the pancakes were a moderate success.

Naturally, he wanted to make sure that everything was a-okay. So he checked the oven.... etc

You know the drill by now.

That's when the maid turned up.
And YIKES, where the hell did they find THIS guy?
He looks..... creepy.




And, he's very lazy too.

The floor was swimming with water. And, because they'd told him that this house was a piece of cake, easy money, he only mopped one tile before taking his money and running.

Lazy git. He needs reporting.

Anyway, Gareth decided that he'd put his handy skills (or lack thereof) to good use. And tried to fix the shower.



It's okay.
For now.

Until it breaks again.

'What was that? Is it broken? Oh man!'

*sigh*

No, it's not. But I think we'd better leave that sort of thing to the repair guys/gals. After all, they're qualified in that area.

'Yeah, but I heard they overcharge and botch up the job. I think I'm better off doing it myself.'

O-kay.

Anyway, Gareth learned that part of his job was to 'hone' his skills in the athletic sense, get himself all fit and stuff (apparently it's to get an advantage over running from the cops).

So he decided to take himself down town to the gym.




There, he took great delight in using one of the treadmills, with surprising results. I've never seen a guy look so happy.



He hardly even broke a sweat!!!

By now, it was getting late, and he'd already had a phone call earlier, asking him if he'd help out the local school with their cookie drive. This meant learning a brand new recipe. So he took the opportunity, and headed to the book store.




He'd only just walked outside, when curiosity got the better of him, and he started reading the recipe.




But then, something caught his eye and he headed towards the back of the ornamental garden bench.



Um, Gareth?

'Shhhh.'



I don't like the looks of this.

What you doing?



'Nobody's looking.'

Um, Gareth?

'Those daisies DO look pretty.'

WHAT?!?!

'Nobody will notice if they suddenly..... vanish.'

GARETH!!!!

'Aww c'mon, they'll look really good in my garden.'

*swipe*

'There, see... nobody noticed.'




Um, Gareth?

'Yeah.?'

Apart from that little girl over there.

"I'm telling."




'Telling who?'

"I saw what you did."

'Did .... what? I don't know what you're talking about.'

"If you buy me dinner, I won't tell."



'Um, yeah, riiiight.'

Gareth?

'Yeah?'

I think it's time we high-tailed it out of here.

'Good idea.'




With that, we both headed speedily home. Gareth's pockets full of a brand new recipe ....
... and a freshly filched patch of daisies.